TO BE KNOWN, SEEN AND LOVED
Long ago I gave up on New Year’s resolutions. I would either forget I made them, or they would lose their importance by February. Last year I decided to focus on a mantra… of which I have since forgotten as well. Perhaps it’s my ADD. Perhaps it’s that I got busy with life. I don’t know, but I have given up on that. This year, I decided that I needed to simplify my life. With that, came a simplification of my New Year goals/mantras. I boiled it down to one word. Surly I can remember one word throughout the year. I took about a week to focus on what that word might be. I prayed for God to give me a word, and He was faithful.
Rise.
Rise was the word he gave me. Rise up. An Aramaic command from Mark 5:41 in which Jesus Christ was said to have resurrected a dead child with the words "Talitha cumi" or "Talitha kum" or "Talitha koum," meaning "Little girl, I say to you, arise!"
Each day, each morning – Rise! Each hard thing I need to face, Rise! I shared this with my trauma therapist, and each encounter, each pressing moment we entered, we entered with the word rise in mind.
Last month, I had the rare opportunity to experience Lauren Daigle in pre-show activities. She is one of my favorite musical artists. Getting to know who she is on a personal level opened up her music to me even more. Her faith is as genuine as her music. It is heartfelt and speaks to my soul on a deep level to the struggles I don’t yet have words for.
During the concert, the band began to play Still Rollin Stones, in which a line in the song says rise up. I had my camera ready and took a photo of her singing this song, so I could keep it with me to remind me to rise. I put my phone back in my pocket and felt it buzz. I checked my phone, and there was a text from my therapist that read, “Thinking of you!” She was at the concert with her children.
I asked myself, what am I feeling at this moment? (Trauma survivors should always ask that question because feelings often are numbed, accentuated, and extremely confusing.) I answered I feel known, seen, and loved. It’s taken years of therapy sessions to get me to a place where being known, seen, and loved is not threatening but something to be fully embraced.
I replied to her with a blue heart emoji—our symbol. How special was it to know she thought of me amid quality time with her children at a concert with ten-thousand people? I felt so loved at that moment. She remembered rise. She knows the importance of song for me and how symbolic it is to my healing journey. She has seen my transformation from being dead in trauma to being alive in healing—and she has loved me through every ugly nook and cranny.
As I was focusing on that feeling, God impressed upon my heart that he, too, knows, sees, and loves me. If my therapist knows, sees, and loves me, how much more does my Abba in heaven? With an earthy father who was distrustful, and abusive, it’s difficult not to place those attributes on my Heavenly Father. But God cannot lie (Numbers 23:19, Titus 1:2, Hebrews 6:18). God hates abuse (Mark 9:42, Matthew 18:6, Luke 17:2). God is safe (Isaiah 41:10, 41:13, Psalm 46). God loves us (Deut 1:31, Isaiah 40:11, 46:3, 63:9).
God knows, sees and loves me. Friend, I want you to know and believe that God knows, sees and loves you too.
“Lord, You have searched me and You know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; You perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; You are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue You know it completely.” Psalm 139:1-4