The MOST Important thing to know about Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (CPTSD) Symptom Control
The absolute most crucial thing to know about complex post-traumatic stress disorder and symptom control is that you are 100% entirely in control of your symptoms. I know that that’s a radical thought that is impossibly angering. Most of the signs you experience seem to be random chaotic, and uncontrollable. But that’s the lie that trauma tells you.
As stated in other blog posts on this site, your trauma symptoms are a pearl of internal wisdom. They are trying to tell you something. If you listen to them, you can help them learn to react or respond when appropriate. Your symptoms are not your trauma. Your symptoms are not happening to you. Your symptoms are occurring for you.
You are not a victim of your post-traumatic stress disorder or your symptoms. You’re not a victim of your nightmares. You’re not a victim of your flashbacks. You’re not a victim of your anxiety or your depression.
You are not a victim.
The trauma is over. And until you and your body believe that and accept that, the faster, you’ll move towards healing. You see, trauma teaches us that we have to be in a victim position and have no power and no control. But I’m here to tell you that that’s a lie. If you were a child when you were abused, you obviously were powerless and unable to control what was happening to you. But today, as an adult, you don’t have to be that scared, vulnerable little Child anymore. Trauma taught that Child that they had to dissociate to survive. Trauma taught that Child that they had to be silent keep secrets, and keep the peace. The trauma led that Child to what shame felt like. Trauma taught that Child how to be afraid. Trauma told that Child that it was their fault.
Trauma is a big fat liar.
Healing teaches us that we don’t have to listen to trauma anymore. Healing teaches us that the answer to our growth is within us. Healing is listening to how your body tries to tell you how to heal. So, the anxiety you feel right now or the anger you feel right now is trying to show you the way. Can you hear what it’s trying to tell you? Can you listen to what it’s saying? Can you hear what it needs? Can you become curious and ask why it exists?
Can you befriend the part of you that is causing flashbacks? Can you understand with compassion and without judgment that the flashbacks are trying to tell their story? If you shoot them away or numb them or avoid them, they will only get louder and more persistent. Much like a child trying to get your attention, if you ignore them, they get more upset. So imagine these flashbacks as a part of yourself trying to no longer be silent. Sit down with that part and create space for their story. Listen to the level it’s trying to tell you. Embrace it. Help that part to know that their story matters. Reassure them that the abuse is no longer happening. It’s over. They’ve already survived it. That doesn’t mean it didn’t happen. That doesn’t mean it doesn’t matter. But what it does mean is that that part doesn’t have to be afraid anymore. You can accept that part and their story, embrace them, and carry them with you. When they start presenting their story again in the form of flashbacks they’re trying to communicate, I need an unmet need that only you can provide.
Try this when your trauma symptoms beg for attention. Give each symptom the attention that it needs and deserves. You will learn more about them, but you’ll also learn more about yourself. This will spark the beginning of gaining control over your symptoms.
This is by no means easy. I don’t want to give anyone the impression that this is easy. I also don’t recommend doing this alone. I wholeheartedly recommend that you do it with a licensed therapist who is specifically trained in trauma treatment when you start this process. Especially one who understands the ins and outs of complex post-traumatic stress disorder.
So every time trauma tells you that you have to be small or silent or scared, you’re allowed to say that it’s a liar.